Jeff’s Baked Cheesy Elbows (mac & cheese)

This is my Baked Cheesy Elbows recipe, commonly referred to as Mac and Cheese by those who don’t like silly names for regular food. This recipe is still a bit derivative, but involves a lot more fine tuning that I’ve done through repeatedly making this recipe until it was gosh-darned perfect. I’ve baked this one a number of times and I believe it has gotten better each time I make it. It’s so effin’ good. This is a fine tuned recipe… make substitutions at your own risk.

You’ll need a 9″x12″ glass cooking pan, a large pot, a large saucepan, a noodle drainer, a cheese shredder, and a bunch of big bowls. This recipe requires a fair amount of cleanup, but it’s worth it.

Internal Ingredients

  • 2 Cups (8 oz) elbow macaroni
  • 3-4 Tablespoons butter
  • 3-4 Tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon mustard powder
  • 1/2 large yellow onion – minced to bits with a sharp knife
  • 1 can evaporated milk (roughly 1 3/4 cups) NOT condensed. They’re not the same. Use evaporated.
  • 1/2 cup Milk. Regular cow milk again. NO soy substitutes allowed.
  • 1 bay leaf (dried is fine).
  • 1/2 teaspoon paprika
  • Cheeses totaling at least 2 cups – 16 ounces. I use 1 small package of Tillamook white cheddar, and a half of a small package of Monterey Jack, and half a small package of one of the following: Swiss, Gouda, Muenster or Colby. I’ve used all combinations of the last cheese, but I always use the Tillamook white cheddar as the basis for the cheddar flavor. Pretty much anything will work as long as its a soft cheese. Hard cheeses are not good for melting and become oily when cooked.
  • 1 Teaspoon salt
  • Fresh black pepper

External Topping Ingredients

  • 3 Tablespoons butter
  • 2 slices of frozen bread (white, wheat, or sourdough all work) – Grated into bread crumbs using that cheese grater. This is why you freeze the bread beforehand… its much easier to grate without having to toast it – which dries it out too much.
  • 1/2 sleeve of Tollhouse snack crackers. They come in sleeves, what else do you call it?

Internal Instructions

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Boil the elbows with a pinch of salt to “al dente.” Follow the directions on the box, but usually this takes 6 minutes. Its important not to over-cook the noodles so they don’t break down and become too starchy. They will finish cooking in the oven.
  3. Empty the “al dente” noodles into a strainer in the sink and rinse them with cold water, then toss them a bit. Set the strainer aside for now.
  4. Now we make a rue. In the same pot you cooked the noodles, put it back on the stove and melt the butter until it is bubbly.
  5. Pre-combine the flour and mustard, and whisk it into the butter.
  6. Continue whisking CONSTANTLY for 5 minutes. If you don’t listen to me, I’ll hit you. It’ll keep bubbling but it needs to cook a full 5 min whilst being whisked.
  7. Stir in the minced onion, bay leaf, paprika and finally, the 2 kinds of milk.
  8. Simmer this mixture for 10 minutes and the sauce will thicken up very nicely. Again, I want you to stir constantly while this mixture simmers. Keeps it from burning on the bottom, and makes it nice and creamy.
  9. Remember all that cheese you grated from those packages? Now you slowly add 3/4 of that whole mix into the pot until all the cheese is melted. To do this: Continue stirring with one hand, and add small handfuls with the other hand, use another hand to juggle a triad of peaches. It is imperative that you juggle these peaches while stirring, or something horrible may go wrong. And then what? You have to start over.
  10. Stir in Salt and Pepper to taste. By this point you should be ecstatic with glee, because of how awesome your sauce tastes.
  11. Fold the elbow noodles into the sauce.
  12. Pour that whole deal into the 9×12 pan, and set it aside. Any flat surface will do.
  13. Throw away the peaches.

External Topping Instructions:

  1. Melt 3 tablespoons of butter in a saucepan.
  2. Add the shredded and/or grated breadcrumbs. stir constantly… until they are coated in butter.
  3. Put the crackers in a bag and smash ‘em up good. add them into the pan and toss that around constantly.
  4. Sprinkle half of the cracker/bread mixture to the top of the elbow noodle pan.
  5. Add the remainder of the cheese on top of the elbow noodle pan.
  6. Sprinkle the last half of the cracker/break mixture over the top of the elbow noodle pan.
  7. Bake for 25 minutes. The cracker bits should be browned a bit, but you should also see some bubbly cheese, and maybe the essence of a lovely wafting cheese smell.
  8. Remove and set aside for 10 minutes to cool. That shit is HOT, so let it cool.

Eat the good stuff.

For extra credit, try this madness:

  • You can save all that you don’t eat for making fried cubes of glory later.
  • Just cover it and toss it in the fridge over night.
  • Cut it into cubes about 3/4″ to a full inch.
  • Roll in flour, and tap excess flour off
  • Roll in a whisked egg mixture
  • Roll in a bowl of crackers or grated bread like you did with the topping
  • Let each one sit on a wire cooling rack for 3-5 minutes to let the gooey stuff set.
  • Carefully lower it into a pot of oil, such as sunflower oil, or something that is good for frying.
  • Remove it when it becomes the color of everything fried you’ve ever had in your life. You should recognize this color as: the color of fried things, not burned things.