As we come to the end of 2009, the Talko Bunch looks back on its first season of Talko Grande with tear-filled eyeballs. We managed to do a full 15 14.9 shows this year and we’ve come a long way since the first Talko aired.  But we’re not looking back… it’s time to move on. See ya later two thousand nine.

HELLO TWENTY TEN!

We have some exciting changes in store for the new year and the new “teen” decade. Stay tuned and look forward to new content like:

• YouTube videos
• More special guests
• Interesting new topics
• Sparkling new graphics and sound effects on the website.
• More surprises all year…

Talko Grande has also been noted in the ever-popular, always-referenced uber site Wikipedia. We use the word Talko in new and interesting ways that bear explanation. Lets just hope that the Wikipedia Gods deem our usage a valid one.

So go ahead and grab a Talko…

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Crew

After the much needed refractory period Talko Grande has worked up another nut and has it fixed and aimed on your faces! Brace yourselves for yet another audio facial with part two of Talko Grande’s exploration of bad pornography! Special Talko guest Jacob the Jew remains in the Blew Room for the thrilling conclusion to this rousing and arousing discussion!

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Bunch

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Matt's smooth porn stylings...

Where do we begin…porn, we’ve all seen it, we’ve all loved it, and we’ve all hated it!

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once said of porn, “I know it when I see it.”

Undoubtedly he knew it when he saw it because he had his dong in his hand the minute he realized what he was seeing.

Kurt is as sexy as he wants to be.

That being said there are always a few things that can derail the sexy time. During this episode the Talko boys and special guest Jacob the Jew the top things you can do to ruin a good porn!

Get cozy, get lubed up, and get ready to just relax and take the new Talko Grande balls deep. Don’t worry baby, we’ll be gentle…

Jeff, women want him, and men want to be him...

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Gang

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This porn show was so thick and veiny that we had trouble fitting it all in. That being said, here are some general notes and guides on what to do, and what not to do if you find yourself on a crowded Chinese bus.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Staff

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The end time has come and gone. Luckily, you survived. Now what? Don’t get caught with your pants down, unless you’re painted black, chubbed up, and ready for blood like our friend Matt. Team Talko forms out of the ashes, rubble and dead bodies to provide Denverites and like-minded folk a way out of ruin and into safety. We debate the course of action and decide on a plan. This is a fictional account of what we would do, if presented with a general post-apocalyptic scenario that can include all of the possible causes we listed in the previous episode. Listen to this podcast before the apocalypse happens, so you know what to do.

Jeff recently saw the movie The Road, based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy, after we recorded this episode. He would like to state that this podcast, it’s advice and guiding principles holds pretty well to Mr. McCarthy’s dystopic vision of the future in a post-apocalyptic world. Jeff would also like to take this moment to highly recommend this movie to anyone who is a fan of independent cinema, great storytelling, great acting, and say that this was the most realistic vision of a post-apocalyptic world that he’s ever seen in film. While that might not seem like such a bold claim considering most apocalyptic fiction has to do with even wilder science fiction in the form of zombies, aliens, or extreme bio-terror, he still thinks that is worth mentioning.

Here’s that wiki Post-Apocalyptic Fiction page mentioned in Talko #12.  It makes for some interesting reading. While you’re there, donate 10 bucks to the organization. It’s non-profit and benefits everyone.

If you’re a religious person (or zombie) who wants to air some beefs with us over any of the last 3 episodes (or for any reason, really, including good reasons) feel free to do so by contacting us at our new Google voice-mail number: (970)-36TALKO.  That’s 970-368-2556 for the people who just wantdigits.

And if you’re too shy to give us your actual voice to air on the show, send us a loving or angry letter via gmail at talkogrande. I’m counting on you all to type that in the proper format email uses.

Lastly, if you haven’t noticed, TalkoGrande.com now features a Recipe section. Look up there at the very top of the page next to our “about” link. Hit it up.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Team

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Talko Grande is now available on Podcast Alley!

Which is pretty cool. Tell your friends.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Group

Jeff and Kurt

Looks like someone ruined the world and everyone but us died. How did it happen? Talko Grande coming direct from the Gassy Knoll, painted black and chubbed up, tackles the hard journalism and gets answers for you. We go into the possible reasons why and pin down how the apocalypse happened.

For the record, this episode and the next were recorded prior to episode 11, but we posted the Breakfrashmiss episode first due to some technical difficulties and also wanting to start the holiday season on a good note. Please enjoy our time-displaced references to Thanksgiving.

Don’t blow a dooker out your panties with horror, because Talko Grande is coming to you with the sequel to give you the plan for what to do now that the world is dead! Should you hit up the supermarket? Not until you have a gun! We give you the step-by-step on how to make your way through the Post Apocalypse in episode 13 coming in a week.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Guys

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Hello men, women and everyone else. Direct from the Gassy Knoll, this episode is coming out a little late due to the Thanksgiving holiday, and we’re jumping right into the next big holiday season. One of the Talko Grande fellows, Jeff, has created his own Winter holiday called Breakfrashmiss as a Christmas alternative for non-christians and anyone else who wants to celebrate a breakfast themed holiday. Jeff goes into detail about what Breakfrashmiss is all about, why you should celebrate Breakfrashmiss, as well as what the word means and how to pronounce Breakfrashmiss in this podcast. Jeff has also created a YouTube animation (apologies for the poor audio quality in advance) describing all of this and more. Check that out below:

Later, Kurt talks about his preferred holiday, Yule. This is very insightful and interesting. Matt and the others share their feelings of hatred for Christmas, and relay a recent story about Black Friday from here in Denver which exemplifies what’s wrong with obsessive consumerism.

On the topic of exploding trees, here’s a Wikipedia page concerning the phenomenon which explains how it can occur.

Sadly, contrary to Jeff’s assertion on this podcast, the Comedy Central show Mind of Mencia actually hasn’t been cancelled. We do not apologize for this error because we still feel strongly that Carlos (his real name is Ned) Mencia sucks.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Dudes

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