Talko Grande

Hello men, women and everyone else. Direct from the Gassy Knoll, this episode is coming out a little late due to the Thanksgiving holiday, and we’re jumping right into the next big holiday season. One of the Talko Grande fellows, Jeff, has created his own Winter holiday called Breakfrashmiss as a Christmas alternative for non-christians and anyone else who wants to celebrate a breakfast themed holiday. Jeff goes into detail about what Breakfrashmiss is all about, why you should celebrate Breakfrashmiss, as well as what the word means and how to pronounce Breakfrashmiss in this podcast. Jeff has also created a YouTube animation (apologies for the poor audio quality in advance) describing all of this and more. Check that out below:

Later, Kurt talks about his preferred holiday, Yule. This is very insightful and interesting. Matt and the others share their feelings of hatred for Christmas, and relay a recent story about Black Friday from here in Denver which exemplifies what’s wrong with obsessive consumerism.

On the topic of exploding trees, here’s a Wikipedia page concerning the phenomenon which explains how it can occur.

Sadly, contrary to Jeff’s assertion on this podcast, the Comedy Central show Mind of Mencia actually hasn’t been cancelled. We do not apologize for this error because we still feel strongly that Carlos (his real name is Ned) Mencia sucks.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Dudes

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Food episode starts with a direct reference to cunnilingus, phallic metaphors (bananas), and very sexy missions. Its an all out face basting from the get go.  But it’s so hard to talk about food without digressing to sex, and after a while, we give up trying to avoid the link and go for it.

These recipes were included/covered in this episode, but future recipes can be found at the Talko Grande Recipe page.

• Matt’s Ribs
• JeffHouse Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Jeff’s Baked Cheesy Elbows (Mac ‘n Cheese)

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Chefs

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The format is constantly changing, but for this and the next episode it really worked. We picked one topic and meandered within it’s boundaries until we just decided to jump the rails and make shit up. We get going and don’t stop until we’ve steamrolled the concept of sanity, hipsters, and George Lucas. Great tangents ensue as the dialogue changes course in interesting ways. Kurt talks about an interesting realization he came to when comparing two different parties he attended on Halloween night. Matt relays his experiences and point of view of the Yellow Bordello (hipster/scene party house in Denver).  Jeff gets really excited about some things (that in hindsight, probably didn’t deserve that much excitement). He also vows that from this point on, its more important to be excited than to be factually correct and he will just be making things up when quotable facts can’t be found. All in all, this one is a crazy trip into a land where 3 guys talk at once, riff on the details, and jump topics until the very end when mid-word a demon takes over Jeff’s body and makes him burp.

You can find the extremely awesome chart describing the paths of Lord Of The Rings characters throughout the trilogy of movies via XKCD comic #657.  I recommend clicking the comic to enlarge it for all the details. The chart also includes the original Star Wars trilogy, Jurassic Park, 12 Angry Men, and Primer. Also, if you’ve got some time, check out the rest of the comics on that site using “previous/next.” I’m halfway through the archives, myself, and I can’t stop clicking on to the next one. Very funny and insightful for the geek minded webcomic enthusiast.

Now, here are some Halloween photos!

The troll costume Kurt wore this Hallowed-ween

Left to right: Rob (The Warriors), Amy (Lego Woman), Jeff (Lego Man)

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Freaks

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“Pueblo’s not just for beaners anymore,” Matt suggests as we discuss the planned obsolescence of things like cars, computers and cellphones. Anecdotes galore.

Don’t punch her in the F.U.P.A. … she might die.

What happens when dogs poop in their sleep?

Do not take Ibuprofen or Aspirin after a night of heavy of drinking. Some people say this is important, including grocery store PA systems, and the people who speak into them.

Later, Kurt gives his perspective on good exercising techniques and practices. Matt offers his prison workout techniques and routines.

Don’t forget to recycle your old cellphone batteries, because Jeff forgot to.  Jeff feels bad for the environment. Jeff feels bad for ending a sentence with a preposition.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Bosses

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Matt throws up in his car, Kurt throws up twice, and Jeff nearly throws up on an amusement park ride. That being said you know you’re in for a hum-dinger of a show! This one is like a Gallagher show, the first three rows could get wet! Buckle in and enjoy

Here are links to some of the topics discussed in the podcast. Check out these links for some background info on Kurt’s interests.

The Autogyro is as close as we might get to a flying car. It’s enthusiast category flying at this point, but the link should give you an idea of what it is we’re talking about.

Riversimple is a new car (concept/prototype) with many interesting innovations in technology and style.

Sissy Wish - The band that rocked Kurt and Jeff at the Hi-Dive in Denver the night before we recorded.

Also Kurt wanted to show everyone some pictures he drew of cats in gyrocopters.  Enjoy.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Management

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Strap in and prepare your self for an audio sucker-punch coming straight at your ear-holes! Trust us, you aren’t prepared for this rager! Topics range from cinema to seeing our dad’s dicks. Right now your head just turned slightly to the left because you can’t wrap your mind around how those relate, don’t worry, just hit pay and let the Talko take hold!

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Directors

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Special Guest THRob The Party Guy, AKA Rza, AKA Roberto, AKA Rob joins the Talko Grande in The Blew Room to discuss t-shirt commenting, cutting his dong in half, public restrooms, Russian space programs, and tards who ride crotch-rockets! Forgive us for the dicey audio. We have some new audio equipment that we had to work some bugs out of!

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Folks

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Sometimes Old Chub gets the better of your podcasting compadres…This was definitely one of those times! Imagine a world where offensive, offputting, and hilarious podcasting gets an infusion of 8% alcohol by volume right in the butt-cheek! This is basically your beer addled tour through the minds of three homies in a basement, which is weird because Talko Grande is basically three friends in a basement.

After the fact, Jeff will add that he doesn’t think his drunken-ness was THAT bad this episode, but that he only drank 3 chubs for the 5th episode… airing next Sunday. (ewww)

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Drunks

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Que pasa Norteños, lumberjacks and GLBT-Anarchists! Enter the world of Talko Grande and prepare to be alienated!

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Threesome

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Just when you thought it was safe to get back out on the internet, Talko Grande is back in your grill!

This show is all over the map, so strap on your seat-belt and enjoy the jag? (JeffJag?)

Also, subscribe to us on iTunes, and also probably buy some of the things we mention in the podcast.

And also, probably, stay tuned for the next episode. We’ve committed to posting new episodes every Sunday from here on out. Check back each week to make sure you get your Talko Grande fix.

In loud booming voices,
The Talko Fuckers

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