Suck it, Scott Aukerman!  Jeff and Matt are back!  We play “Would You Rather” as it was meant to be done.  Long enough to be in two parts again.  Here’s some links for better understanding the content.

Maudite beer label

This powerful Canadian beer references a satanic canoe ride!

The Strippers Matt was talking about

The strippers Matt talks about.

From about 3:50 into the above video to 4:30, the strippers Matt talks about are featured.

Too much fake tan on these strippers!

Too much fake tan on these strippers!

Norman Rockwell

Norman Rockwell plus......Lisa Frank equals...

Thomas Kinkade

...Thomas Kinkade! The "painter of light".

Megan Fox’s toethumbs:

Thumbtacks are no match for these things!

Boris Vallejo

Boris Vallejo painting is similar to...

... a Roger Dean painting

... a Roger Dean painting

Be here. Be you. Do what you would do in this situation.